If you have been in a toxic relationship, you know the toll it takes on your body, mind, and soul.
Grieving the breakup was easy this time because I had already planned to leave the relationship after one of the fights got the better of me.
I made self-care my top priority, my number one rule for everyday life.
Sometimes my self-care routine looked like going for a walk; sometimes, it was just journaling before bedtime.
Did you know that moving your body can change your emotional state?
Movement is linked to emotion.
I’ll admit the movement part on some days was challenging, but I let myself be sad when I needed to be, but I did not stay there long.
As I was already a student of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), I knew I could change my thoughts and control how the dialogue went with the ideas that popped up in my head.
CBT was a great tool, when I went through my breakup.
CBT stands for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, a type of psychotherapy based on the idea that our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours are interconnected and that changing one of these aspects can lead to changes in the others.
Carry the FUCK ON approach!!!
My sister and I have a rule: when you feel sick, put lipstick on!
We live in a time when everyone feels the need to overshare. They think the world should know exactly how you are feeling, which was not an option for me during my breakup. I had a full-time job and a family that needed me to be present, and I was sick and tired of being in my feelings.
I got to this stage by accepting my breakup for what it was.
My carry the fuck on approach is packed with love for myself and not letting the world know I was still hurting inside. The world didn’t need to know that, social media didn’t need to know that, and I had a few close friends in my life that I would call if I needed to express my feelings. I also have a therapist to whom I speak my thoughts out loud.
Carry the fuck on is changing your mindset about the breakup. First, it was getting dressed up for work, putting on makeup (I feel pretty with makeup), eating a healthy meal, getting up at 4 am for the gym, and allowing myself to be more creative in areas that brought me joy.
As time passed, I noticed the issues that were bothering me when I woke up didn’t even exist by 6 am.
I set the intention for my day regardless of my feelings and carried the F*ck on looking dam good.
Sometimes we have to tell these feelings after a breakup to take a backseat and give our true selves a chance to shine, learn and grow.
If you are still finding it hard to move on from a breakup, know that you are not alone, and it doesn’t have to be painful.
If you would like more help moving on from a Breakup, please feel free to reach out if you think a breakup coach might be something you would like to explore.
I am not a licensed psychologist or specialist healthcare professional. My services/advice do not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals.