Weigh-In Wednesday: How bad do you want to lose weight?

Photo by Amanjot Singh on Pexels.com

With my new weight/health goals in place, I have a wake-up time now at 4 am. 

I usually wake up at 4:30 am and do a cardio workout at 6 am three days a week. That routine I started three months ago.

This week has been challenging regarding my sleep and leaving my comfort zone.

I will not sugarcoat anything here for you. I am used to being very comfortable in everything I do.

This week my question to myself was, “How bad do you want this?”.

My answer is as follows.

I want this so bad that I am willing to shed a few tears; I want it so bad that I cannot see myself fail no matter the cost; I want this so bad that I am willing to leave people behind to get to where I want to go, I want this so bad that I am not going to give up, I want this so bad because I deserve it.


This week felt scary, fun and rewarding in so many ways.

But not all weeks will be like this; after all, I just started weight training, a new gym, a new sleep schedule, and meal -prep.

This week I thought about when I was 200lbs, how I felt in that body, how I felt at 147 lbs (my lowest), how I felt when I gained 20lbs during the lockdown, how I lost most of it again and why I was stuck at a plateau for almost five years.

Why was I able to lose over fifty pounds, but I could not get to my ultimate identity as a person that takes health and fitness seriously?

Was my fat keeping me safe?

Was the binge eating giving me a dopamine high that I wasn’t aware of?

Were a few people’s fat jokes one too many that they stuck to me as truth?

As you can tell, I was asking myself many questions this week.

I dug a bit deeper until I was feeling very uncomfortable with all the answers that were coming up.

I am afraid of change; I am so scared of putting in the hard work and failing. That I give up before it even gets harder or more challenging.

“Tears are part of the process.”


Let’s face it. No one ever got anywhere just by being comfortable and without hard work.

Also, how the f*ck did I expect to get results If I, for one, was never consistent, to begin with, no matter the diet and exercise program I was on.

I have taken numerous dieting pills, all to get a quick fix as if the body I desire is just as easy as ordering takeout.

There is no such thing as a quick fix regarding health and fitness. It takes dedication, consistent effort and showing up when you don’t want to.

Overall, this week was challenging. I am more aware of what had kept me back before, and I am more than willing to fail to get it right.


Failing is part of the process; no one ever succeeds by not failing. So stop being your worst enemy; get up and do it already. Do not let FEAR get in the way of what you want.

I am not a licensed psychologist or specialist healthcare professional. My services/advice do not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals.

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