HEALING & SELF DEVELOPMENT · LIFE STYLE TIPS

F*ck Goals. Give me Habits!

  1. DECLUTTERING  
  2. FORGET THE GOAL. CREATE A NEW HABIT 
  3. BEYOND THE HABIT 
    1. Information on Habits

Happy New Year.

While most people will be planning their new year’s resolutions, I say we try our best not to be those people this new year. 

We do it every year and write a bunch of stuff to motivate us, and sure enough, by February 2nd, we still need to remember the two-page list of goals or have just given up altogether. 

I have been there every year, making vision boards and mood boards and buying about three different planners because I always told myself I would achieve my goals.  

I have met them; some years, they all failed. 

I would get this disappointing feeling or make another list of endless New Years’ Resolutions and give up again. 

The Pandemic changed the way I looked at New Years’ Resolutions. 

It doesn’t matter how many vision boards you have, how many bright and over-the-top lists you have, or how many “new year, new you” quotes you post or retweet. You won’t stick to your resolutions for several reasons, one being that you have just put a ton of pressure on yourself. 

I will not tell you don’t do lists or vision boards. Or that they are a failed system. Look, I am a Pisces. I get off on daydreaming about my future and being organized. So while those things might be fun and productive, I think we can take a step back this coming year and do things differently in how we approach ourselves regarding goals/resolutions. 

Let’s try to create habits that stick, routines that work with our life, bring the element of calm to our environment and add a ton of self-love and compassion into the mix with new habits. 

DECLUTTERING  

No, we do not have to wait for spring to clean. But, honestly, decluttering before the new year or within the first weeks will give you a considerable head start, creating an environment that will set you up for great vibes and a more settled mind. 

According to psychology today, decluttering helps with decision-making skills. For example, you have Y amount of stuff and X amount of space. Deciding what goes and stays will lead you to make faster decisions, and you’ll be ready to tackle another task, such as ORGANIZATION. 

I know a few people in my life that I would willingly pay for to go to an ORGANIZATION BOOT camp if they had one. 

Organizing your spaces will lead you to a more calm and clear mind. Meaning less time fussing around to find something in the kitchen, bedroom, car and office. 

Cleaning and Organizing your spaces in your home and office is known to reduce anxiety and help with sleeping. 

While decluttering, you are sure to find old treasure, but use the Marie Kondo method and ask yourself, “does this bring me joy? “ I know it may sound silly at first. 

We tend to hold on to much junk and fail to notice that we might be blocking something from coming into our lives. This is where I am going to go. Woo-woo. I believe in energy and good vibes. So here is what I don’t want in my home. I want nothing that has to do with an EX, things falling apart on me, something I hate to look at, toys that my son will never play with, and clothes I know I have no intention of wearing this lifetime. 

I go through my apartment regularly. I try to have it as clean and clutter-free as possible. For example, when I started to watch my money this year, I stopped buying unnecessary things to add to a junk pile, and when I am super stressed, I call a housekeeper to come over and clean. It makes a difference in my mood and my sleep. I am more productive in a clean space, and my calmness is at Level ZEN when my home and office are clean. 

FORGET THE GOAL. CREATE A NEW HABIT 

The Author of Atomic Habit, James Clear, mentioned in a TED TALK that you must create the person you want to be. Let me explain what I learned from his talk. 

First, you have to forget the goal.  You must create and do things to be the person you want. You have to take action steps daily that will become a habit over time. 

For example, you want to become a reader; you tell yourself this is the year you will read books, not just buy them but read them. 

To become a reader. Read 10 mins each night before bed. The minute you open that book and start reading, you are a reader. Over time you will finish the book and increase your reading speed, and you might even find yourself reading for extended periods because you now enjoy your new habit. 

Putting things like musical instruments, books, and yoga mats in a common space where you see them would remind you to do the act, resulting in RESULTS. 

Start with 10 mins. Each day of your desired habit, you will see it won’t be something you are trying to do; it will be something you do.

You can not expect to run a marathon if you haven’t even trained for it. Taking action steps to create a habit will get you to your goal faster, but even better, it will stick. It will become part of who you are. 

Whenever I don’t feel like writing on my blog, I always remember that just a little goes a long way; once the laptop is on and I am writing,  I become a writer (with terrible grammar, but I AM A WRITER). 

BEYOND THE HABIT 

Creating habits goes far beyond working out, reading, writing, and learning a new language or musical instrument. Creating patterns with your self-care routine is an essential habit or resolution you can ever make. 

It all comes down to mindset and how you treat and speak to yourself. 

Creating habits of checking in with yourself daily will lead to clarity in the mind, body and soul. The parts of you that feel neglected by the world will get that love, care and attention. 

Information on Habits

Neuroscientists have traced our habit-making behaviours to a part of the brain called the basal ganglia, which also plays a key role in the development of emotions, memories and pattern recognition. Decisions, meanwhile, are made in a different part of the brain called the prefrontal cortex. But as soon as a behaviour becomes automatic, the decision-making part of your brain goes into a sleep mode of sorts. Read More 

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