This is a blog post about my weight struggle and finally getting to the point of body love, changing my lifestyle, and the ups and downs of this journey. Will this year be the year I finally get to my goal weight?

I bought the batteries that I needed for the scale to work. I bought it with the intention for the scale to just work, and that was it; okay, okay, maybe I was also going to weigh myself, but then after two weeks of the batteries sitting on the coffee table and I refused to take it upstairs, I knew something was up.

I was stalling and still am as I write this blog.

As I told someone recently, I am every trainer’s worst client, I am full of excuses, and I know how to get you to play along.” Shit, I have even convinced myself at times with some of the excuses I make for skipping out on a workout or why I needed two days of binge eating.

I am not consistent with anything these days, and following through on taking my weight has become a total failure.

THE NUMBER

How many times will I let this number thing on the scale rule my life?

After reading Fast.Feast.Repeat I did exactly what the Author told me to do, only I extended the 29 days of not weighing myself into three months. (hahaha).

The 29 days of not checking the scale were to help me detach from Diet Culture.

We all know how the Number on the scale is a mind f*ck. Like it can mess with you for the whole week—just one stupid ass number.

I believe I am scared of how disappointed I might feel after I get the reading from the scale.

I honestly thought I was past this with my relationship with the scale, but it seems like my attachment style with the scale is now AVOIDANT.

UPDATE

I am still doing kickboxing classes. I want to do it now twice a week instead of just once a week.

I quit smoking again, so wish me luck on that one.

I took two days from fasting as I was out of town for my dad’s 60th.

Meal Prep is back in the game, keeping it simple, and if I don’t meal prep, no big deal. I am still making an effort.