I am amazed by people who have faith in God to know that no matter what, they will be okay; they will survive.

I am even more amazed by the majority of the population working dead-end jobs and living a lame-ass fucking life.

I am having a hard time living, and I wonder whether it will get better because I don’t understand that coming back to misery so often is my default or if this is what life has to offer me.

I am so bored and uninspired out of my mind 95% of the time in my life that I would not mind someone shooting me in my foot. Giving me some distraction from my plain ole boring life makes death seem like a better option.

Hold your fucking horses; I will not do anything stupid to myself even though it was a thought.

I AM TIRED

I am tired of trying to feel better; I am just tired.

I don’t want to get off bed; I don’t want to try anything new besides my intermittent fasting.

I don’t want to dream big because I have been doing that for God knows how long, and I don’t want to live on most days.

It’s like waking up and wishing it was all over, yet nothing is wrong.

SURVIVING IS NOT LIVING

I don’t want to survive anymore; I want to thrive and live.

Surviving feels like suffocation now.

Is it even possible to have what your heart desires, or are some people just “lucky”?

I wonder, does holly basil help with moods?.

Sorry folks, I am such a downer today.

But

Have a great week.