Ramadhan: I don’t Fast, but I get closer to the Devine.

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels.com

Ramadan is on my calendar like clockwork, and I am nowhere near prepared. I have some severe anxiety at this time of the month.

I converted to Islam in Nov of 2016.

I feared this religion for many years, so I did what I knew best. I read tons of material on the faith and what they stand for, and most importantly, I needed to know my role as a woman.

In the west, we are bombarded with islamophobia.

I thought women were targets of violent crimes and had to be spiritually abused with having to share a husband.

I am happy to say that all my fears went entirely away when I did my research, reading, and interpretations. If I didn’t know something, I did multiple google searches.

Yes, it would help if you did multiple searching for Islam because they have much misleading information.

I joined Islam because of the Oma (community); having no family or friends, I needed a sense of belonging. Besides having a community, it was the one GOD concept.

Without getting too heavy on Literature, let me tell you why this Month is so important to me.

Oh, and I do not fast.


Most Muslims do fast during Ramadan, and it is not required to do so unless you are old, menstruating, pregnant and sick (unwell).

I do not fast because I have tried many times and felt sick, I also have a destructive menstrual cycle, so I choose not to fast.

I instead use my energy in Prayer and Meditation.


For me, Ramadan is a time for me to get deeper into my Spirituality and have a closer relationship with my creator GOD/ALLAH.

I find I struggle in this area from time to time. I wonder how so many worldwide never question God and Never ask “WHY ME,” Instead, they have this intense faith and are willing to accept their fate.

On the other hand, I question so many things, and instead of fire of the LOVE from the Devine burning inside of me, I have lava inside of me, which feels like anger and confusion waiting to explode.

I use the month of Ramadan to get deeper into faith, pray and have more conversations with the Devine.

There is a part of me that so badly needs to surrender and put the logical mind to rest, that needs to let GOD take care of me and my needs.

Photo by Anna Tarazevich on Pexels.com


I don’t expect to come out of this Holy Month of Ramadan transformed, but I expect my relationship with myself to be better, and I only hope that I surrender a bit more to LOVE and LIFE.

Transformation is not meant to be all at once; just a simple change in an old limiting belief is enough to make remarkable changes in one’s life.

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