Recently I have been doing much clearing up. I handed in my resignation at work. I made steps to be of service and opened my Coaching Business.
You might have seen some changes on my website recently.
One of the questions when opening up your business is, “What makes you different than anyone else.” That was easy for me, I have no filter, and I don’t believe in selling you a fairy tale.
That question got me thinking about the Toxic Positivity Culture we are now shoving down our throats.
I remember when I first started this blog; I told my therapist. People need to know healing is no F*cking Rainbows and Unicorns; it’s no fairy dust.
Healing comes in layers, and I think the most unproductive thing we can do is force ourselves to feel better and feel like we are okay when we are not.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying stay in bed for a week, eat junk food, and forget you exist and have a purpose. Oh, Hell No, would you do that.
I suggest you feel the emotions, have a BAD day, cry it out in the shower, write in your journal, and then rip the pages apart. Just have a F*cking BAD Day. Because BAD days are natural, and they do happen.
COMPARISON and COMPASSION
When I get in a slump, I ask myself questions that I have learned along the way like;
- What am I feeling right now?
- Where do I feel this pain/emotion?
- Why do you think this is a problem?
- What can I do to help myself right now?
Being in tune with myself and what is around me is helpful. It helps me get control over my mind.
I am human with real emotions.
I found myself comparing myself to others my age recently, and I am sure that is what sort of got me all down over the weekend; I also found myself angry with all that I have discovered about my job and some people I have had in my life for the past ten years.
Now, there comes the point when you stop blaming others, and you take responsibility for your shit. But then there is the side where circumstances and people are just SHIT. They don’t care about you; they don’t seek your interest and never will.
It hurts to know the truth of someone else’s point of view about you, its hurts to realize you were loyal or gave too much of your time.
What are you to do with this hurt?
Are you to compare your life to someone else?
Are you to forgive and pretend, “you got this !.”
The answer is “NO.”
I am sick and tired of the movement telling us that we should feel good all the time. Yeah, I called it a movement because everyone is out there shoving Positivity down our throats, trying to mask what we are supposed to be feeling.
In our pain or discomfort, there are answers for ourselves and others.
Suppose you have an off day, so what, what if it’s an off month?
Sit with the feelings and ask them questions. DON’T IGNORE WHAT YOU ARE FEELING.
But whatever you do, don’t force yourself to feel good. Take it one baby step at a time.
There are times when we need to up the positivity, be more creative, and be inspired to be more present with ourselves and our loved ones.
Darling, not every day is meant to be perfect.
For me today, I am holding the positivity; I’ll take the time for myself, I’ll ask my questions, I’ll journal and like always, I come out bursting with ideas and gratitude.
Having compassion for yourself when you are not feeling your best is the most important thing. Just remember it’s okay, not to feel okay at times.
Do you force yourself to feel good?