On my recent trip to Florida and Toronto, I got to meet 3 fur babies.
My son got a new pup, Sister 1 got a dog, and Sister 2 got a cat.
In my very mundane life in Trinidad, I haven’t had any pets at all. Even though my cousin who owns a very stylish pet boutique has been advising me for years now that I need to have a dog in my life, That Dogs are great for your mental health and feelings of isolation.
Not just my sister or cousins told me that pets are great for your mental health, I have seen YouTube clips, I have read blogs about it, and I never really took it seriously.
At one point I wanted a Persian cat, I wanted it to be a boy, and I wanted his name to be Mufasa. I wanted him to be unbothered by the world just as I so badly wanted to be unbothered by everything in my life.
In my deep dark depression, the thought of owning a pet will come and go. I just always told myself, that a pet is not going to fix me or help me.
My sisters who become first-time pet owners told me they have never thought they would love an animal so much. That the cat and dog became part of the family.
My cousin said her first dog helped her with a heartbreak.
I couldn’t understand where they were coming from, yet I love both cats and dogs.
That would all change when I meet these fur babies. My son’s dog was playful but not too much, my interaction with him was minimal.
It wasn’t until I meet Peppa.
I stayed a few days with my sister and her family and of course Peppa (my sister’s Dog).
Peppa greeted me, came and sat right next to me as if I was there all along as if I was part of the family too.
When Peppa came on the sofa and sat on my lap and allowed me to rub my hand through her coat, I felt something inside me shift. When she came and turned her back towards me as I sat there chatting with my sister, my insides shifted again.
There it was, that love, that spark, that connection my sisters were speaking of.
I wanted to take this puppy fever I now caught and bottled it up. I wanted to take that spark I felt and carry it will me, I wanted now to come home to a dog.
DEPRESSION IS A LOST CONNECTION
If you have been following my blog you would have known that my time in Trinidad is by far not the easiest mentally, but I have gained knowledge and power from my time here.
You will also know that when my trip came to an end, I was not too pleased to be back in Trinidad, but I came back with a plan to move back to Toronto.
There are some things that people who are healing don’t speak about, it’s the f@cking dark-ass times when you think your world was going to be over.
The dark times become a memory you try to forget, something you avoid so you do the healing work. Because only you know what you went through and what it felt like to be so dark in a slumber.
One major cause for my depression last year and the past 10 years was a lack of connection. The pandemic for sure made it very hard for us all to connect.
The leading cause of Depression is lost connection. When we don’t have a connection to anything, no social setting, no purpose we don’t thrive as humans, we become sick physically and mentally.
My number one priority is myself. I know it will be challenging with whatever remaining time I have here. But here’s the thing I am not going to repeat last year. I am not going to allow my mental health to go down. I will not abandon myself.
Sage is the puppy that I will be bringing home in a few days. I meet her once and she is just adorable. I will have a blog post coming up about her.
She is a Westie/Maltese. She will join me on my adventure this year, she will move with me when I am ready to move.
I never do things “normal”, and I know for some it might seem crazy to know I’m moving back to Toronto, just got back from one expensive trip to come here and get a dog (crazy right). My answer to that is “this puppy is for my mental health”.