Here’s the thing with almost everything and everyone. Addiction is hard and it comes in all forms.
TURN IT AROUND
What if you took your binge eating day and your slip up with booze as a way out of your addiction?
Hear me out.
When I gave up drinking and was very sober curious, I drank on day 8 into it, then I had another drink about 6 weeks into my sober journey.
The first drinking night was filled with shame and guilt. (Obsessive shame and guilt)
The second drinking night was just regretting, shame and less guilt (honestly, I have no idea why the second drinking night even happened).
The guilt, shame and fear showed up for me in ways I never thought they would. With thoughts about how bad and awful I was for drinking when I said I wouldn’t, took over me. I had to calm the fuck down, tell myself it’s not the end of the world, that tomorrow is another day and show myself so much compassion and self-soothing.
We truly are the hardest on ourselves and that shit needs to stop.
You see your slip-up, relapse, binge, bender might be the very thing you needed to get yourself together and teach you a very valuable lesson of self-compassion.
I am nowhere close to perfect, but in my imperfect life, I show myself a shit load of compassion along the way in all areas of my life. I think it’s time you start doing the same for yourself
WHAT DOES COMPASSION AND SELF SOOTHING LOOK LIKE
Self-soothing and compassion can come in many forms here are just a few examples.
I found the 478-breath technique to be a life/moment saver.
My anxiety was through the roof last year with stress and my nervous system was on overload.
I turned to this breathing method to get me grounded, make me feel safe, help me relax before bed, and help me with my mindfulness.
The 4-7-8 breathing technique was developed by Dr. Andrew Weil. He refers to it as a “natural tranquillizer for the nervous system”.
- Find a comfortable place to sit with your back straight.
- Place your tongue against the back of your top teeth and keep it there.
- Exhale completely through your mouth around your tongue, making a whoosh sound. Purse your lips if it helps.
- Close your lips and inhale through your nose for a count of four.
- Hold your breath for a count of seven.
- Exhale completely through your mouth making a whoosh sound for a count of eight.
- This completes one cycle. Repeat for three more cycles. (I like to repeat for 5 cycles of breath-work)
Take a moment and pause right now. Take a look at your surroundings, then feel where ever you are. Are you sitting, standing ?. how does the seat feel ?. how is the air against your face ?. do you hear the ac/heater that’s running in the background?.
We run around like we are just nuts most of the time. We are fast passed and busy, busy, busy. Just as we are sending off an email, we are thinking about the kids, dinner, and how much this person hurt you and you have just gone nuts for a good couple of seconds
It’s your mind, take control over it.
Mindfulness, allows you to take a moment and pause, to be still and just be in the NOW.
- Listening to the Ac running in the background is a great way to be present with yourself.
- Allocate time for mindfulness and do a short meditation.
- Use apps to help with mindfulness like Insight Timer
- Set a timer on your cell to be still for a min
Throughout history, water has been known to be a natural healing source. As a water sign myself, I know the meaning of water and the power it holds.
Taking a shower or bath can be a very relaxing, self-soothing way to help you show yourself some compassion. Use scented candles such as Lavender which is known for relaxation or Palo Santo.
Use your shower/bath time to commit to yourself and say your affirmations.
I use my shower time to say “I love myself”. I have been doing this for some years now. When my thoughts go way out of control I bring my thought back to the moment in the shower and say “I love myself”.
You can use water as a ritual bath.
When I have had a hard day, I set the intention that the water I am about to take a shower with will cleanse me, that the bad vibes will be washed away into the drain. I take deep breaths and stay in the moment to feel the water run down my skin, feel my hair getting wet and exhale.
This is also another form of mediation.
Sometimes we need to say NO to stay on the road to recovery.
Should you feel tempted to take a drink, smoke a cig with a certain group of friends. Saying “no” not tonight is perfectly normal and needed.
Saying “No” to people who make you feel like shit is showing yourself compassion.
Say “no”, if it means saying “YES” to “You”.
These are just a few suggestions. Honestly, you have to make room to get to know yourself. You have to allocate time just for yourself and find ways that help you in times of hardship. There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to recovery. Just know that you are not alone.