I have no idea what planets are where, full moon this weekend I think and Venus is going retrograde.
The world is going mad again.
I try my best to be an optimist. It’s my coping mechanism for sure. I will rather be hopeful than full of doubt. But there are times when you feel like you’re going to explode.
It might feel like rage, and you want to throw something. You might feel like crying.
I have been feeling so overly emotional that I have been shedding tears and this morning I just want to bawl. Not that I am in danger, but because I am over this COVID shit.
I am scheduled to fly out next week and being away from my family has been hard.
So fear is coming in, to make matters more trying I am so ready to leave my place of employment and I want to just say “fuck you asshole, I quit”, but no I have to be smart and keep what I have and save until I can move on to my next move which is me moving back to Toronto.
My sister messages me last night around 12:34 am, letting me know that she is feeling fed up with Canada’s new restrictions. She expressed that somehow when her mind gets on board and things are feeling somewhat normal, the government manages to come in right before the holidays again to Fuck shit up, create more fear and stress.
She’s not alone in the way she feels.
Doesn’t matter if you are vaccinated or not, this instability in our lives feels like a ticking mind bomb.
What we need to do right now for ourselves is really say how we feel, write it down or call a friend or family member.
Try to allocate time to do some journaling or breathwork and stay off the NEWS.
If anxiety was never known, it truly showed up to the surface for so many during these past two years.
We can’t ask our government to get the economy stable, we can’t ask our bosses to understand, we are just a tool for them.
What we can do is try to manage our minds, try to go with the flow as the great stoic teachers.
Because there’s is one thing that nobody can do to us and that is managing our minds.
We have that power and let us not lose sight of that. We have the power to say “FUCK YOU, not today”, We also have to give our mind a chance to reveal to us what it needs to.
Don’t push fear away, don’t barry your emotions in toxic behaviour. Cry it out if you have to and acknowledge it’s fucking hard right now.
Be kinder in your approach, because now more than ever more people are battling with mental illness and major life changes.
We have to be soft with ourselves in order to be strong for the world.
Don’t stay too long in your pity, because the mind would love to keep you there.
Whoever reads this, be safe, reach out, be kind and eat the dam chocolate if you need to.
This morning, it’s coffee, meditation and prayer for this world. I will not let this world have control over my mind.
From my heart to yours, be safe we will get through this.