Why did I even say “SORRY”

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The other day, My partner was putting gas in my SUV. We got to the gas station he filled up and when he got back into the car he says “Oh, shit the car was on”. 

My response was “I am sorry I’ll shut it off next time” he had no response and just continued to exit the gas station. I was on the passenger side. 

As we drove off, I had this very loud voice in my head saying “why did you even say SORRY, it’s not your fault, he was the one driving, who cares if it’s your SUV, he should have shut off the engine”. 

I have no idea why but this played out in my head and I was so mad at myself for saying sorry for something that was completely not my fault. 

I asked my self “it is a Canadian thing”..nope not that 

“Was it a situation where it was just better to say sorry and forget about it “…nope again! 

“Was I angry that I said sorry because men think all women should be sorry …maybe

My mind went on and on, I even thought if his sensitivity to criticism was why I might have felt the need to say sorry. 

But at that moment I told myself, that I will no longer be saying sorry for things that are clearly not my fault. 

In all honesty, I think I have been doing the “I’m sorry”, bit for a long time now. I know for a fact people have bumped into me, spill drinks on me and my first response is “I’m sorry”. 

Next time that shit happens again I will have nothing to say because one thing I am not going to say in a situation that is not my fault is “I’m sorry”

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