INSPIRED BY THE BOOK “QUIT LIKE A WOMAN” BY : HOLLY WHITAKER
Alcohol is the only drug in the world where, when you stop taking it, you are seen as having a disease. Because alcohol is the only socially accepted drug, because most of us consume it, because we have come to believe that there are “normal” drinkers and there are “alcoholics,” and because alcoholism is self-diagnosed, it is literally the only drug in the world where you get a label and a lifetime disease once you admit you need to, want to, or do stop. I never had a problem when I was out three or four nights a week drinking the same amount as my friends. I never had a problem when I was doing ski shots with my co-workers or when I stayed out drinking until four a.m. on a weeknight. But when I tapped out—when I stopped drinking alcohol—was when I qualified for a drinking disease.
Whitaker, Holly Glenn. Quit Like a Woman (p. 84). Bloomsbury Publishing. Kindle Edition.
Part of my healing journey has brought me to open up about my father’s addiction. About my childhood wounds, wounds from adulthood.
I’ve been open about my depression, and anxiety.
What I haven’t been too open about is my toxic relationship with alcohol. A few months ago I mention that I was going to join the sober life, maybe I didn’t put it that way. But I was going to stop drinking for a while.
That didn’t last very long.
After Jack and I got back together I would take a few drinks with him. But let me be honest here. My few is a few too many to the point I am guaranteed to have a hangover the next day, that I’ll be laid up in bed all day and night sleeping in and out and eating anything I can find my hands-on rich in carbs and sugar.
I am smart and intutive enough to know that I am heading down a very dangerous path, that the universe is sending me all the signs that the Alcholo has to go, that where I am going in my life/journey it has no place for posion in my body. My soul is screaming, my body is screaming, and my mind is racing.
In Holly’s book, she highlights the media’s way of selling us the idea that drinking is no big deal.
There is no way you can read QUIT LIKE A WOMAN and look at television, commercials, billboards the same way again. Gosh, I loved how she called out Goop on their shit.
Anytime there is a break-up in a movie. The first thing the female does is get a bottle of wine, pizza, and ice cream. If she has some besties coming over they bring tequila. Somehow if you are heartbroken, drinking and eating high fats and sugar is going to help.
Within the wellness industrial we have big celebrities, doing yoga, juicing, but they just came out with new wine. This is pure foolishness if you ask me. But I had no idea what was going on until I read QUIT LIKE A WOMAN.
Now when you hear shit like #roseallday, you’ll be like what the fuck is wrong with this world.
Not because I am predisposed to becoming a full-blown addict, mean I alone have an issue with drinking. This whole world does and unfortunately, it’s us women that are being targeted within this industry.
We are told Alcohol makes us “relax”, “liquid courage”, “it’s fun”, “joy”, “it’s treading did you try that rose”, “oh sorry I only drink pinto ”, “its girls night”, “Chardaney is for sippy cups”. ETC.
If you are into reality TV or as I like to say “Junk TV”, you might have come across a series of TV shows on BRAVO called “The Real Housewives ”.
Recently I noticed on the Real Housewives , well at least paying more attention to it that all these housewives seem to have a serious drinking problem.
There is not a dinner, event, or gathering that does not have some form of alcohol involved, which is beside me, because I mean these women love their bodies, but I guess not so much. In the last season of the Real Housewives of New York, it was very clear that drinking was a big issue, and even though they addressed it on the show that Sonja Morgan has a possible drinking problem. They never gave you a disclaimer. You know, like those ones where you see call the hotline for domestic abuse, call the hotline for suicide prevention. You never saw anything come up saying if you know someone suffering from a drinking addiction, you can call this number to seek help. Or anything. It’s as if that line of Real Housewives is really promoting extreme heavy drinking. Sure, drunkenness and behaving like a total moron and fool in front of the camera makes for good TV. It’s embarrassing to watch these grown-ass women behave sloppy falling down in Bushes, peeing in strangers’ bathtubs, ripping their close off, and destroying backyards.
It’s disgusting. But you know what it is the most ?…. It’s SAD.
And this portrayed as what, rich and fabulous?
If that’s what it is, I don’t want it.
Alcohol is everywhere, it’s being pushed at you for heartbreak. It’s being pushed at you for baby showers being pushed at you for weddings, celebrations. It’s everywhere!!!! You can’t seem to escape it.
Consciously making a choice not to drink is difficult. Because. I feel like I’m programmed to. Have a glass of wine or two to take the edge off. I must reprogram myself a different way. I don’t like confrontation and my anxiety goes out through the roof sometimes. And I might use drinking as a calming mechanism. And sometimes a sleep aid. but I’m tired and it’s enough I don’t want to be this way anymore.
Today one in every ten women will suffer from an addiction. It’s bad enough that we have an opioid crisis, war on drugs, failed systems that make addicts out of us.
Mental health had been at an all-time high, as with the epidemic of loneliness.
Maybe we aren’t doing enough for ourselves, our community, our fellow sisters, and brothers.
We are the most disconnected population when our DNA is built for connection. Today we are disconnected from our bodies, families, friends, and community.
We have apps, granting us access to sex (one-night stands, booty calls), we have apps delivering the booze to our doors. You no longer must go out there and make an effort to get shit face, take the edge off, or binge if you wanted to all night.
What pushes us to want to escape and so engage in addictive behavior is the state of our lives and how we deal. We drink and drug and eat and smoke and shop and reach outside ourselves for so many reasons. We fear we aren’t good enough, and we’re terrified of failure. We’re stressed and don’t know how to unwind. We live on the margins of society without access to opportunity. Our parents perpetuated a cycle of addiction or abuse or just didn’t hold us enough when we were babies. We have no purpose or connection to something bigger than ourselves. We’re bored, unhappy, angry, depressed . . . and on and on and on. If we hope to heal, we must address these primary wounds that make the home that is our self unlivable.
Whitaker, Holly Glenn. Quit Like a Woman (p. 100). Bloomsbury Publishing. Kindle Edition.
How Many times would it take to become sober or consider myself finally living a sober life ?. I have no fucking clue. What I do know is I don’t want to drink, I do know that I have tried to live the sober life before and have failed. I do know that I can go months and years without drinking, but I also know that I have been having too much wine for my liking, and the occasional wine or vodka is damaging my soul, spirit, and body.
I got plans and places to go, so today. I say goodbye for good, not see you later alcohol, not I’ll see you for the holiday’s alcohol. GOODBYE!!!!
From now on, I will use Mondays as my time to speak about my sobriety and what other information I can share to spread the word and great cheer of SOBER LIVING and ADDICTION.
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We live in a world obsessed with drinking. We drink at baby showers and work events, brunch and book club, graduations and funerals. Yet no one ever questions alcohol’s ubiquity—in fact, the only thing ever questioned is why someone doesn’t drink. It is a qualifier for belonging and if you don’t imbibe, you are considered an anomaly. As a society, we are obsessed with health and wellness, yet we uphold alcohol as some kind of magic elixir, though it is anything but.
What could possibly be “lucky” about addiction? Absolutely nothing, thought Laura McKowen when drinking brought her to her knees. As she puts it, she “kicked and screamed . . . wishing for something — anything — else” to be her issue. The people who got to drink normally, she thought, were so damn lucky.
But in the midst of early sobriety, when no longer able to anesthetize her pain and anxiety, she realized that she was actually the lucky one. Lucky to feel her feelings, live honestly, really be with her daughter, change her legacy. She recognized that “those of us who answer the invitation to wake up, whatever our invitation, are really the luckiest of all.”
Here, in straight-talking chapters filled with personal stories, McKowen addresses issues such as facing facts, the question of AA, and other people’s drinking. Without sugarcoating the struggles of sobriety, she relentlessly emphasizes the many blessings of an honest life, one without secrets and debilitating shame.
This Naked Mind offers a new, positive solution. Here, Annie Grace clearly presents the psychological and neurological components of alcohol use based on the latest science, and reveals the cultural, social, and industry factors that support alcohol dependence in all of us. Packed with surprising insight into the reasons we drink, this book will open your eyes to the startling role of alcohol in our culture, and how the stigma of alcoholism and recovery keeps people from getting the help they need. With Annie’s own extraordinary and candid personal story at its heart, this book is a must-read for anyone who drinks.