I am still a zombie, sleepless nights are now ruining my life.
My brain doesn’t want to shut down, it’s keeping thinking and thinking, maybe a cold shower is in order for tonight.
I am still craving a burger and that craving should be dealt with tomorrow.
I realize when you have unanswered questions from a break-up you may feel like you have no closure at all. In all honestly, I don’t ever think we ever get closure from a break-up. Sometimes we can’t or won’t accept that someone just doesn’t want us. Rejections does deliver in hard doses at times.
AM I CRAZY or WAS HE JUST AN ASSHOLE OR EMOTIONALLY AVOIDANT?
I’ve thought a lot about my last relationship with Jack (ex). From year one to year six. I can’t be sure at times what memory is from which year.
I feel like I am dismembering the relationship as if it’s some sort of project.
Learning about different attachment styles has been an eye-opener, learning about myself more and others fascinate me. Yet still, I don’t think we will witness anyone with a real answer to human behavior, but we are getting close.
I am happy that Jack is healing, but still, some part of me is like “what a fucking asshole”.Or are Avoidant people not my cup of tea, that his ways were never going to make me feel loved, secure or safe.
The debate is still out if he’s just an asshole or he has some strong Avoidant traits.
But he’s trying to better himself so let’s wish him luck.
I remember when we first got together, he refused to have me on his social media (Facebook), we had already been dating for some time, I had sent a friend request, but he denied it. It took months of me badgering him to accept the friend request.
It must have been a full year before I was allowed to be friends with him. Then when I was allowed of course I did some snooping into his world. Right off the bat, I saw his page was filled with his Ex-Wife and I was nowhere to be found.
I couldn’t accept the “oh I don’t really post stuff”, because there were loads of pictures of not only his wife but kid and family, and let’s not forget mummy dearest.
When we were living together still nothing, then came this time around and I found out his ex-girlfriend was on his Facebook. Okay wait now, do you know how long I had to wait just for him to allow me to be on his Facebook.
That gave me the message that he was hiding me and well he wanted to appear available or maybe making sure his wife was comfortable. I have no clue. But what about this ex-girlfriend how long was she on his Facebook and was he denying me for her ?.. (see how the mind wonders)
But I hear Mark Groves from Create the Love talk about social media. He summed it up like this, if they are not willing to celebrate you then ask yourself do you want that.
So, thanks Mark Groves from “Create the Love” I have a new rule. If you can’t celebrate me then “Fuck off”, of course, I’ll say this in a much nicer tone..lol
Is hiding your serious relationship on social media acceptable? What are the rules? Seems like it’s not official unless it’s on Facebook.
There is so much more stuff that is coming up, but I might end up writing a book if I keep going with this.
Maybe I will use these diversions to help me out with my love map and core values. I cannot be asking the universe for a husband unless I am clear on what I want. Now I am not expecting perfection but normal, please. I felt my last relationship was far from normal.
His secret ways did drive me mad. I think it always made me feel unsteady as well, there were way too many unanswered questions.
What is your rule for Social Media when dating/relationships?.