I have been slowly getting back into my yoga practice. Last weekend I did a flow and only lasted 24mins due to my body being fatigued.
I told myself this morning that we are rolling out the mat and I want to do Naked yoga. Let me guess when you think of the word NAKED do think of no clothing ?… lol Well when I thought this morning that I wanted to do Naked Yoga, it didn’t mean in my superb birthday suit. Although that can be an option.
I thought about the word NAKED. All I could see was me stripping myself of all the excuses, being totally vulnerable in the moment like I am just in the NOW without attachment and releasing any sense of fear. It was hard thinking I can get on my yoga mat and not think about doing my asana perfect or not wobble without judgment.
So, I gave it a try. I step on the mat, said a prayer, and set my intention to just be in the NOW.
I did it, I finished the class and made it all the way till the end. I hugged my self and said “Melo I am so proud of you, you did it”. Look you have to celebrate your wins, don’t wait for someone to do it for you.
On weekends I tend to feed myself bullshit thoughts that would have me depressed to the point I am laid up in bed for the whole day.
Thoughts such as “I am not good enough”, “Look at how much of a loner you are”, You’re a fool for moving here”, “look your single again and all this time by yourself”, “Your life is sad”. NOT today thoughts, I told the thought recently to “Fuck off”. Mindfulness is clearly paying off because I haven’t had one of those weekends in a while.
I have been praying and keeping a gratitude journal religiously. I think that is why spirituality works for me more than religion, I don’t need an appointed time or day to speak to GOD.
My aunt told me when I am going through my dark times “Mel, talk to God like he’s right in front of you, tell him everything, don’t hold anything back”. I took her advice, not all the time is my sister or friend going to be willing to hear about my situation.
When they say the Journey to self is a solitary one, they weren’t lying. It takes some serious guts to be by yourself and willing to do the work to change the parts of you that are holding you back from truly being at peace.
I will be going back on my Yoga mat tomorrow and my aim this week is three yoga flows and eventually get back to doing it every day like I used to.
If you have never tried yoga before, try it!
Yoga has saved me in so many ways, it’s become part of my identity.
I am still highly stressed from this pandemic and not being able to see my son and family. Yoga is helping me release the trapped emotions I have in my body. I wouldn’t doubt it if some people have internalized this pandemic and lockdown as trauma. After all, we are not meant to be in isolation for this long. We are Tribal beings.