POST-BREAK-UP: HOW SOON CAN I START DATING & WHAT ABOUT SEX?.

Photo by Klaus Nielsen on Pexels.com

SEX 

Let’s just get straight to it, shall we?

We all have needs. Women have sexual needs just as much as men do. 

I have read countless break-ups, relationship books, listen to TED Talks and interviews with relationship experts. You know the term “Get under to get over”? 

Well seems like everyone has a different take on it. Some therapists/friends/aunties/yoga teachers will tell you maybe you need to be with someone if you still can’t get over your Ex. 

Some will tell you, work on yourself and wait. 

I was told repeatedly to just FUCK someone to get over my Ex. It’s not me, not this time anyway. 

Here is my personal take on it without judgment for anyone who chooses otherwise. I say no judgment because we still live in a time where women are slut-shamed for their own sexual needs and that shouldn’t be the case in today’s world. We own our bodies and should be able to do whatever the FUCK we want. 

I don’t want a fuck buddy. I have learned that nothing comes out of it for me. I always want more and have been left unsatisfied, sexually and emotionally. 

 I want a relationship, someone to drink coffee, cuddle, laugh, and have meaningful conversations. I love sex don’t get me wrong. But I am just not willing to give myself or my body up for just sex alone. 

My friend asked me “Girl, how are you going to manage without sex” 

Melo (ME): “I will manage just fine; I know what to do and if anything, I have chocolate” (chocolate is supposed to have the same sex chemical that goes to our brains. I have had sex and I have had Chocolate (they are not the same, close but still not the same feeling…lol).

I believe when we have sex with someone, we open up ourselves spiritually and we can have toxic or good spiritual experiences. I am not about having any more toxic in my life…..Thank you very much!!!  

I will wait until I am in a conscious relationship where I am safe to have sex again. I know what I want and that makes it a lot easier for me to say “NO” to casual sex. 

Women, sometimes sleep with a guy on the second or first date. Then when she gets ghosted, she feels bad. But look if you want something more don’t put yourself in situations that make you feel like shit after. Stay true to YOU always 

There is no way you can know someone on two dates. I wish women would pay attention to how they feel, our emotions are signs telling us what we need. We as women get attached after sex, and it’s because the cuddle hormone is released when we have sex. 

Note to MEN: Grow the FUCK up, if you know she’s wanting more than just sex, please leave her alone.

It’s easy to get caught up with lust, so if you have slept with the dude on date night number two, don’t beat yourself up. But ask yourself, why you feel that way and really do the work on asking the Universe for what you want. We can have the relationships we want, but we must be faithful to ourselves first before anything else.

Choosing not to have sex is my choice. What you choose to do it yours

Also, STDs like hello. We really need to be careful all around. 

Photo by Taryn Elliott on Pexels.com

DATING 

It’s been months now since my relationship ended and right now I have no desire to date. I am loving the way I feel about myself, about life, the world. I am not ready to let someone into my space yet. 

I am still working through some of the trauma from the last relationship. I am still discovering parts of me I love and parts that need healing with compassion. No one else can do my healing for me but me.

Dating is by far the last thing on my mind. 

If you are newly single, I would say take your time. Don’t rush it. 

When we rush into relationship one after the next, we run into more problems. Like taking our last hurt onto someone else. Trust me on this one. 

If two hurt people come together it’s just going to be TOXIC. 

What I wouldn’t mind doing at this stage in my life is making friends, getting to know people, and improve my social skill, because clearly, I have no social skills what’s so ever. Fuck I don’t even have a social life lol. 

When the time is right, and the person is right I would know. 

Photo by Thought Catalog on Pexels.com

STALLING

My last relationship timeline: On. Off (two years). ON. DEAD (thank GOD).

When I was single for those two years my heart and mind still were on my EX, so trying to date at that time was intolerable. I remember a family member telling me that it was okay to go out, date other men, that she knew my heart was broken before, but it was time for me to give someone else a chance. Back then I couldn’t hear anyone besides, the longing and wanting I had for my Ex, I couldn’t see past how I loved him, was still loyal to him and so badly just wanted us back together. 

I remember flaking on a guy 3 times until I was honest with myself saying I don’t want anyone else right now unless it’s Jack. 

This time my mind and heart are not with Jack. The love I have poured into Jack, I am giving it to me. 

I know some might say “you’re using your healing as a crutch NOT be seen or date anyone”. That is true for now, but not for long. 

I still want to get married, and I won’t find a husband hiding behind my healing. 

I am enjoying what life is for me right now and I love it. 

It took me months to get to this place of acceptance and bliss. 

I am enjoying this single life as much as I can. 

“Who and what is meant for you will come to you, TRUST and have FAITH it’s already yours”

Melo

2 thoughts on “POST-BREAK-UP: HOW SOON CAN I START DATING & WHAT ABOUT SEX?.

Add yours

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: