MAKING ROOM FOR THE NEW
Recently I went through all my drives: google, iCloud, factbook etc.
I deleted all the photos of Jack and his daughter. I wrote about this in a recent post.
There was just one folder on my mac that was still there labeled Jack and Melo’s Engagement.
The folder was sitting there, looking at me every time I opened my MacBook.
I loved those pictures. It was the first time I had gotten henna done and the young 22-year-old woman did a remarkable job. I made up excuses that I wanted to remember the Henna work. I loved how the photographer captured the beauty of the Henna and my engagement ring. I loved how my makeup was done professionally. I loved how my cheap Amazon dress looked exactly how I wanted and needed it to look. I love the background of the photos, they are so earthy and mystical.
What was stopping me from deleting it. I accepted it was over, I know he’s moved on, I know I’ll never print these pictures, I know that I’ll have no need for them in the future or the present.
I was holding off from deleting the photos, because some part of me wanted to believe that my engagement was real, that it meant something, that it was a serious thing, a commitment.
I had to be honest with myself. These engagement photos didn’t represent love, loyalty, or commitment. They represented heartbreak, betrayal, cheating, emotional abuse, low self-worth, lack of boundaries, me being dishonest with myself, someone hiding me from his social media for over 5 years, it was me allowing a narcissist asshole into my life, because I didn’t know my worth.
I had already gotten rid of the dresses I wore that day. So why not press DELETE?
I came up with no answer. None of that was a reason for me to not press DELETE.
So, I did it, I pressed DELETE, and took it a step further and went in the Bin on the folder and made sure it was permanently DELETED from my life forever.
I am a firm believer in energy, we can’t hold on to old things or what should or could have been and expect new things to come in. I don’t want to for one weak minute, hold on to anything that was simply not meant for me.
Yes, I might be a little bit cringed because I spent some good money making that Engagement Photo shoot happen. I went out to get the best of the best for it. But money is also energy, and it will come back to me in another form.
I have nothing more in my life to toss in the garbage, give away or delete. This is embarrassing to say but when it came to physical things, Jack never gave me anything, no birthday gifts, no valentines gift, no sweet surprises, and he never helped if I needed anything like a new bed or shoes…NOTHING. So, I threw out the dresses from the engagement photos and I had gotten rid of all the clothes I wore to the mosque. Basically, I tossed everything that reminded me of Jack.
“Make room for what is truly yours, the universe will never disappoint you, have faith and believe in divine timing”.MELO