NEVER BE ASHAMED OF YOUR HEALING 

During the discard phase, the narcissist abandons his or her victim in the most horrific, demeaning way possible to convince the victim that he or she is worthless. This could range from leaving the victim for another lover, humiliating the victim in public, blatantly ignoring the partner for a long period of time without any closure on the breakup, being physically aggressive and a whole range of other demeaning behaviors to communicate to the victim that he or she is no longer important. 

This Book is for anyone who is trying to regain their life after a Nacrisstic Relationship.

CRAZY, PSYCHO, DUMBO 

I will be the first to admit that with the emotional abuse I was taking from Jack (Narcissist), I become fucking BAT SHIT CRAZY, it got so bad that I thought I was becoming a Narcissist myself. I got low down dirty and called him names, that I regretted the next day (NOT ANYMORE, I TAKE NOTHING BACK AFTER THE CHEATING).

I was becoming the worst version of myself. I was abandoned and left with only my wounds to take care of. 

Jack called me crazy all the time when I spoke my mind, I was a Psycho for expressing my hurt side and I was a Dumbo.

Dumbo and Stupid are words that he would use to devalue me. He knew they were trigger words and used them as often as he could when I was expressing my needs or concern. 

I am going to say “Yes Jack you are right with all of them”, “You are right that I am crazy to think you have a heart or soul”, Yes Jack you are right that I am psycho, I never knew what pain could do to a human”, and most of all “Yes Jack you are right I am a Dumbo Bitch for ever believing in you and wasted 6 years”. 

I WON’T STAY BROKEN FOREVER.

Last night I started to pray again, I know it would have helped me and settled my nerves. I just let all the tears flow onto my pillow. 

Strange right, how emotional pain is only something you can heal. Not like a cut where you put a band-aid. With a cut you know it will heal. But with emotional turmoil, you have no idea when that healing will happen, shit you have no control over the rate of the healing. 

I think one of the best things that are helping me right now is not pushing myself to feel whole again right now. I just went through the worst relationship of my life there is no way that healing overnight is remotely possible.

FALSE MASK 

Oh for the love of GOD !!!. I forgot to mention that after I told Jack to stay away from my property he ignored my wishes and still came yesterday to drop off the money he stole from me through my window. (look I had already told him to keep it since he refused to return it) , then he’s now calling my stepmom to voice his concern for me. Like oh fuck !!!! 

He did his damage, now he wants to be fucking concern. 

There is nothing Kind, Loving, or Caring about Jack period. 

“Hit the road Jack, and don’t you be coming back here no more”

DELETE EVERYTHING 

In the past, I might have held on to photos and our time together. I looked back at my engagement photos from March 10th, 2021, I looked back on photos of both of our kids together. Last night I deleted every single photo that had him or his child in it. It was a bit challenging to deleted the ones of his daughter and my son together, they seem to be having so much fun in the photos. 

They are not allowed in my sons and I future. I don’t need to be reminded of any bad times. They are not my family, they never were. 

Sitting with the truth, that all your hopes and dream for the grand blended family is nothing but a fairytale turned into a nightmare.

I deleted everything !!!

I didn’t delete these pics for my self only , I also did it for my son. I am ashamed to say that they were times my son saw me cry and saw the pain Jack was giving.

Zack (son) “I am so sorry, I allowed someone to come in break me and in return broke our home. It will get better my son, give mummy sometime. We will be whole again.”

Photos from Pexels

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