MidLife Madness


“Honestly, social media has become a way for people to send subliminal messages. We try to get someone’s attention by liking their picture or make them feel a certain way by posting things ourselves. The times of openly expressing how we really feel to someone are going. It’s time for all these hidden messages now. We’re all getting weaker. It’s like, if you want to text, text. If you want to call, call. Make proper contact. And if they make out they’re interested and then don’t respond positively when you actually reach out, FUCK ‘EM!”

Chidiac, Daniel. The Modern Break-Up 


I am no spring chicken, okay! I am 38. I was online talking to boys when MSN Messenger and Hi5 was a thing. I would spend hours on the web, talking to boys in my late teens. That was decades ago.

A few years ago around 35-37 years old. I tried the online dating apps. Boy, oh boy have things changed. Suddenly swipe right was a thing or is it left. I have no idea.

 I have heard success stories about couples meeting online and getting married. So as a woman who loves wifi I was predestined to find love online …..Girl can dream right!!!!

My fist adult taste of Dating Apps was going onto, Match.com I spoke with a guy from Toronto and I was in Trinidad, First conversation “he’s going through a divorce and is very sad”. Listen up men, women don’t want to hear about your sad divorce or break up story on the first call and if you are talking about that on the first chat chances are you have some fucking healing work to do, don’t be wasting our time. Thank you very much. 

Then I went on to Tinder. I should have known this was going to be bad, I hate the Island I live on and can’t wait to move back to Toronto, but this is where my life is for now. I am not even attracted to the local men down here, but I gave it a chance. For the sake of Love, I set up my online profile, I was now going to be a part of the “swiper club”. 

Yeah, no. NO ONE got my attention, non, some I was mortified looking at them, like who post a profile pic (x rated) like that. I even saw one of my yoga teachers and the guy I let down from eHarmony. I was doomed for sure, Tinder, Plenty of Fish and Bumble will not have me swiping ever again in the life. 

My Friend Matt, he’s in Toronto and tells me all his bad experience he’s had with women online. So, it’s not just women who are having a hard time with online dating. 

People seem cold, superficial, narcissist, horny, or flat out scary.  

After the dating apps failed me. I wasted my money with eHarmony, I am sorry there is no online survey that is going to find me love (yes, I am that special). I got matched up with one guy locally and he was on all the dating sites, constantly talking about his ex, his voice was the biggest turn off, I must have tried to go on a date with him 3 times, until I finally told him, that I didn’t see us being a good match as I was looking for something that spoke to my soul. I am sure he thought I was being overprotective of myself, or a bitch either way, I was not willing to go back out into the dating world with leading people on or going against my gut.  


Online Dating Apps is just not my thing, and I just don’t like it. I feel pressures to look a certain way, I am competing with twenty something year olds, because yes, even the Men in their late 30’s and 40’s is trying to hook up with the 20 somethings. Maybe that is a bit of my insecurity showing, but it’s the truth. I personally don’t think I can find a loving connection through a app. 

I do believe Love is possible in the online world. A man might stop on my blog and decide he wants to know me, things can happen. Not saying it’s a total dead end. 

What I am trying to say is, I have no intentions now or soon to join any dating apps. It will always come down to personal preference.  


Blogging, Traveling or Miracle…. I’LL TAKE THE MIRACLE

So, for me, I think it might be a while before I find love again, I am not attracted to any Trinidadian men and that is where I live at the moment. I am from Canada, and I have intentions of moving far, far, far, far away from Trinidad when the timing arrives. I often feel like I am in a Culture clash with people down here. 

I am leaving it up to God/Universe how Love finds me. The how is not my concern now.

I am a hopeful romantic and I do believe in love after all life has thrown at me. I like the idea of meeting someone at a bookshop, coffeeshop or referral. Either way, I am still not excluded from the dating game because I choose not to go on Dating Apps. There are still endless possibilities for me. 

What I enjoy the most right now, is working on myself and having the best fun and joy out of life. I will not stop life or put it on hold due to being single. I am living purposefully, and I will always pray for the one that’s meant for me to find me. 



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