The Modern Break -Up

If you have not read The Modern Break Up go and get it NOW!!! like get off my blog and go get it and get a highlighter because you will need it. 

I should put a list together of all the must-reads after a breakup, or when you’re trying to find yourself. Books have always played a big part in my life and this one, well like WOW, how did this male author get all my thoughts and feelings on paper and thank you Mr.Daniel Chidica (what kind of the last name is that from ? umm..will google his ass later). for not making me feel all alone, that these emotions are real, the doubts are real and the pain is so hard at times and it does come down to self-love and acceptance.

Mr. Daniel sheds light on the modern world, where everything is fast past and we also have that same expectation when it comes to relationships and just how break ups can break us and make us feel whole again. Thank Mr.Daniel for this wonderful read.

As for me, I am modern but with a touch of the old school. I won’t go on a dating app (again) to find love, I won’t try to book an appointment for botox and fillers, just for the sake of my dating life. I won’t have sex because I haven’t done it in a really long time or feel pressured too, I’ll fuck who I want because I want to.I’ll take rejection as redirection, I know that Love is not a fucking meltdown or mellow drama, I know what love feels like and I know what Pain from loving someone who doesn’t want you feels like, I also know what loving me feels like and I am no longer willing to compromise my self love for anyone, I will rather be single for the rest of my life then be chasing a love that simply doesn’t belong to me or try to be someone I am not, I also know that I love money and that doesn’t make me a shallow person, I know that I enjoy great food and fast food is just not my thing, I built more and better standers for my self, not because society told me too or I felt I had to keep up with the Hosein’s, but because it’s what my soul fucking likes. I know that as much as I don’t care to eat Wendy’s, there’s nothing wrong if I do if it’s the moment. I know I rather a phone call over a text, I rather have deep conversation then non at all. I rather cuddles over cold hugs, I enjoy rituals and full moon, I crave travel like I crave chocolate on my period, I love reading over TV, but still love movie nights. I know that my mind set is my FUCKING goal mind, I know that I have a shit load of healing to do and while I might have had 6 years behind I still have a life to discover new things about me every step of the way.

I believe that this journey in life, sometimes has nothing to do with all the materialistic things or the perfect family, but it will always somehow end with you with just you.

Learning how to love yourself, learning how to heal and help old family wounds, learning how to find a place you can call home and that place called home is within your self.

One of my latest discoveries was the “BLOCK” feature on my iPhone, like wholly shit, it’s just the best feeling in the world when you realize that contraption you hold in your hand is giving you feelings, like mind fucking you if someone calls, doesn’t call, heart racing when a number appears, etc. Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind”, is a fucking genius in my books.

 Today that block option is my best friend, because” hunnie if you intentionally tried to inflict pain into my life and you adds nothing to the table, then baby you have gots to Mother Fucking GO and be GONE”, because this woman right here got better shit to do with her free time, and I much rather spend my energy on raising my vibrations, connecting with like-minded people and enjoy my time here on earth. 

Will I think about the ones I put on “block”, sure I will, but I will make sure just as fast they popped into my head I replace the image of them with an Affirmation that will reflect who I want to be or am and remember that some people are just so fucking toxic, they are like a parasite and they just can’t be allowed to take space in your mind, body and spirit. 

What I liked about the ending of “The Modern Break Up”, was the part that the ex said something along the line of there are two sides to the story, I have no idea why that made me laugh so hard. But I was picturing Jack telling our story and let me tell you I am not ashamed of any of my action they make me who I am and also makes me get closer to my pain and with that comes self-discovery. But looking back and see how desperate I was holing on to Jack, I mean I would have done anything you could think of to get his attention, and in the end, what I really tried to ask him was “Can you be there for me ?, Can I be safe with you, would you come if I called you, don’t ignore me, because I still have abandonment issues. So my actions would have been Bat shit crazy to some, but oh my God I am having a laugh at myself now. . Shit, what we do to get love from the wrong people is just fucking crazy, or maybe it’s healing. 

Here are some of my highlights from the book “The Modern Break-up”. 

“Yeah, I went to a Yoga retreat and I party sometimes. We all have our way of letting go. I don’t have to be straight as an arrow to be spiritual or have self-awareness. I’m a free spirit. I live on impulse, and sometimes that causes me to act spontaneously and live on the edge. I’m not a nun and I don’t pretend to be,”
Chidiac, Daniel. The Modern Break-Up (p. 13). Undercover Publishing House. Kindle Edition. 

The times of openly expressing how we really feel to someone are going. It’s time for all these hidden messages now. We’re all getting weaker. It’s like, if you want to text, text. If you want to call, call. Make proper contact. And if they make out they’re interested and then don’t respond positively when you actually reach out, FUCK ‘EM!”

Chidiac, Daniel. The Modern Break-Up 

“You know, to love the wrong person or to be obsessed with someone can be like a drug. Having a bit of it feels good at the time, but it’s not good for you. They say if addicts just get over the hurdle with no drugs, they won’t want it anymore. It’s the same as this. You gotta cut the snake off at the head. Having absolutely no contact is the best thing for you. You really need to give it time to fade,”

Chidiac, Daniel. The Modern Break-Up 

“Closure comes from knowing ourselves, knowing our worth, and finally realizing what we deserve. It’s seeing the other person for who they really are, not who we’ve made them to be in our head. I don’t think he really knows why he acts the way he does. I don’t think he truly knows himself. If anything, your closure right now is knowing how confused he is. You want a man, not a little boy,”

Chidiac, Daniel. The Modern Break-Up 

Real love feels better. It’s more available. It’s long conversations. It’s feeling like you can call that person at any time of the day, but more importantly, not being scared that you’ll look desperate in the process.

Chidiac, Daniel. The Modern Break-Up 

I know deep down that I should be stronger than this. I know that I need to close the door and accept that my love wasn’t appreciated. Not because it was wrong, but because I gave it to someone who couldn’t understand it. I know I went too deep in my emotions for him. I know that I surrendered my power, my trust, and my mind to him. I fell. And I’m not sure we should “fall” for anybody now. Why do we have to fall? I want to stand next time I love someone. I want to be stronger.

Chidiac, Daniel. The Modern Break-Up 
But when it comes to narcissistic people—which Jay was, in my opinion—the lack of empathy toward others is greater. He was able to shut off his emotions more easily. He was able to do what suited him regardless of who was being hurt in the process. Those with high narcissistic traits tend to act ignorant toward the way they make others feel. They don’t care how they make you feel because they want to feel good about the situation, and they will go to any measures to achieve that. They will manipulate you, give you false hope, and play mind games. They feel good knowing other people desire them, and if they have to, they will make you insecure to achieve that. They usually have double standards; what’s good for them is usually not good for their partner.

Chidiac, Daniel. The Modern Break-Up 

If a guy really wants to be with someone, he will do everything he can, and it will be very clear to you. If he’s only coming around here and there, it means he doesn’t really want it or is confused. And on the odd occasion that he does want it and isn’t being clear, then he’s not a man. He should man up and grow some balls, and if he won’t, then you don’t want that. He misses out. That’s it. Also, if I were you, I wouldn’t be making myself available for his every call. He lost that privilege.”

Chidiac, Daniel. The Modern Break-Up 

 A life partner helps brings out the best in you; they don’t take advantage of your weaknesses.

Chidiac, Daniel. The Modern Break-Up